Thoughts from 2 Months of Motherhood

Baby E is 2 months old today. Time has been going so quickly and she has changed so much. Motherhood has been incredibly rewarding, but also incredibly hard. I have come to realize a number of things about myself and motherhood over the past couple of months.

If I can do it one handed, on my phone, while nursing, it will get done. 

If not, there is only about a 50% chance it will get done. Don't get me wrong, when I am nursing her, that is the first priority, but I have also realized that I need to multitask at points. Things like sending a brief email or making a doctors appointment can be done while nursing. 

Naps are a mythical thing. 

I love that baby E is always interested in what is going on and trying to take in everything she sees. The downside of this is that she does not want to miss anything. She fights naps with everything she has, and this can make for some pretty rough afternoons. We are getting better at figuring out how to get her to at least take some short naps here and there. Some days it takes 45 minutes of shenanigans for a 30 minute nap.

There will be tears. 

Before I had baby E, I knew that even the happiest of babies cried at times. I do my best to get her what she needs before she starts crying, but it does happen. What I completely underestimated was how many tears I would shed through this process. There have been tears of joy, pain, frustration, fear and  just simply being overwhelmed. 

Guilt your ever present friend. 

For years I had heard about Mommy guilt from friends and family with kids, but man is it real. Guilt about not doing enough, guilt about doing too much, guilt for no real good reason at all...I feel them all and almost daily. For my own sanity, I need a little time away from the baby now and again, but it always comes with a tinge of guilt.

Just because the baby sleeps through the night, does not mean you get to sleep through the night. 

Most nights baby E sleeps from about 8:30 until 5:30 or 6, which is amazing. However, because of concerns about supply and for my comfort, I am up at least once and sometimes twice to pump. The good part about this is that we have a nice stash of milk in the freezer.

Being needed is a double edged sword. 

I love that I can provide little E with food and comfort. She also uses me as a pacifier when she is upset and doesn't know what else she wants. My husband is an amazing father and always there to help, but there are times when she only wants. Most times I do not mind this, but there are days, when I wish she would take a pacifier and some time with Daddy. (These feelings also normally cause guilt...see above).

Milk is a precious commodity. 

I grew up in Wisconsin and never really thought much about milk. It was always around and there was always more. Now that I spend a portion of my day hooked up to a pump like a dairy cow, I realize how valuable milk is and how hard it is to get. And yes, I have cried over split milk.

Smiles make everything worthwhile.

Overall, baby E is a happy baby and her smiles make my day. There have been times when the day has been long and she has been fussy or difficult, but will then give me a smile and it takes the frustration away. I completely underestimated how amazing a little smile could be.

Baby snuggles are the best thing ever. 

When little E snuggles up on my shoulder or chest, it is one of the best things ever. Those are the moments I savor and want to hold onto forever. One of the best things about her late night/early morning feedings was snuggling with her when she fell asleep.

I know I am still really new at this whole motherhood thing, and there will be new lessons and struggles as baby E grows, but the whole thing is pretty amazing.

Overwhelmed

That is the only word that can describe how I am feeling right now. I am still figuring out this whole mom thing and we are moving at the end of the month. Oh, and little E's baptism is 2 weeks after we move. Why did I think doing all this at the same time was a good idea?

Baby E is about 6 weeks old and really doing well. Most days I almost feel like I know what I am doing. She is eating well, gaining weight like she should and sleeping amazingly well at night. Naps are still pretty rare, but we are working on it. On days when she gets enough sleep, she is a really happy baby.

Sweet baby smiles.

As far as the move goes, the movers are hired. Other than that, our house is a complete disaster and we don't have a ton packed. Before she came I figured I would be able to pack when the baby napped. The flaw in that plan is that baby E doesn't really Oops.

Additionally, we have a list of about a hundred things to do to the new house to help make it a home. I know they do not all need to be done at once, but it does need to look presentable for her baptism since we will be hosting people.

Oh yeah, and I would like to be in good enough shape to fit into my work clothes when I go back the middle of October. Right now I am back to the same weight, but nothing fits properly. Packing and lugging boxes is a workout, right?

Sorry for all the whining and I am amazed you got this far. Sometimes it helps to just put it all out there. Needless to say, the blog may be a bit neglected in the next few weeks. 

I just keep reminding myself that this is all so we can build a home for this sweet girl.

Love this little one!

Pregnancy Things to Remember

I know that the first time you do something is always the hardest and while I had a great pregnancy, there are so many things I learned. I don't know if we will have another child and I know that each pregnancy is different, but I wanted to share some of the things that kept me sane this time and I would want to keep in mind for next time.

Strength Train Before Getting Pregnant

In all honesty, strength training is not my favorite activity. I know it is good for me, but I would much rather run or spin than. Prior to getting pregnant, I was seriously slacking on the strength training. I would do it a couple times a month...not the best way to stay strong. I think that is part of why my back couldn't take running by 17 weeks. It wasn't strong enough to support my growing belly and bust. Lesson learned and strength training is a big part of my post partim plans. I also lost a lot of my muscle tone and want to get that back.

Prenatal Yoga Rocks

I didn't start prenatal yoga until well into my second trimester because I didn't feel like I was pregnant enough. In hindsight, I wish I would have started almost immediately. The prenatal yoga class at Full Circle Yoga is so much more than just a workout. The practice gives you a time to focus on both your mind and body. The class I went to is taught by a doula and you can often get insight and advice on all the discomforts of pregnancy. Additionally, you meet a great group of other moms and moms to be. I know that this may not be an option everywhere, but I highly recommend finding a class that works for you.

First Trimester During the Holidays Sucks

I want to preface this by saying that I completely understand you only have so much control over when you get pregnant. This time we were eager to try as soon as we could after we lost the our first pregnancy. That said, if possible I would like to avoid being in my first trimester during November and December because it pretty much sucked. 

I felt terrible from right after Thanksgiving until the middle of January. It felt like worst hangover ever without the fun of drinking the night before. It was also difficult because we didn't want to tell anyone we were pregnant until we were out of the first trimester, so I had to pretend like I felt normal. I also didn't get to really celebrate at the various holiday parties and other festivities. We left my holiday party and 9 p.m. and I almost puked during Christmas Eve mass. Not a good time. We will see what happens, but I would like to avoid being in my first trimester during the holidays if at all possible.

Prenatal Massages are Amazing

These really helped me turing the last few months of pregnancy. I went about once a month for the last four months. The massages loosened up my muscles and helped with aches and pains. I think that this is a big part of why my back didn't hurt more than it did. They also helped me relax and clear my mind. Something that is often hard to do while pregnant. I got a couple of them as a birthday gift from my husband and a prenatal massage is one of the best gifts you can give a pregnant lady.

These are just a few of the things I want to remember from being pregnant. What did you learn when you were pregnant?